Fay Weldon...
Yikes. Whilst avoiding doing anything approaching revision* this weekend I went into a frenzy of newspaper reading. This, you understand, is guilt free work avoidance. Keeping abreast of the world being any person's moral duty. Admittedly this probably doesn't cover the News of the World, the National Enquirer or Heat magazine, which were also consumed avidly alongside the Times, the Observer and the Guardian (my my how many assumptions are being made about me now?!) but I do feel this gives me a more rounded view of the world from lots of different perspectives (ahem). Besides, there was more chance of me being able to finish their crosswords.
Anyway, the 'Yikes' of the opening paragraph refers to the astonishing news (Observer 3/9) that Fay Weldon, bastion of feminism, has instructed us that we should 'fake it' in her latest novel 'What makes women happy?'.
It's quite a surprise. For years now, I've fretted about the fact that I do, in fact, fake it. Quite often as it happens. And I thought I was wrong to do it. Each time I imagined hearing a choir of feminists (along with Cosmo magazine) screeching at me that I shouldn't. That I was letting down the side. Which, to be fair to me, is probably enough to put any woman off her stride.
But in all seriousness, years of women's mags had made me believe that I was supposed to be a writhing mass of multiple orgasms. That any sexual encounter that doesn't end in mind blowing choirs of angels and a wobbly earth is frankly a bit of a failure. And that in the unlikely event that I’m not in a state of convulsions when I get round to the post coital cigarette, that I should be making my partner’s night as bad as mine – by letting him know that he’s just failed to satisfy me.
Something stops me. It’s not just that prudish streak that makes talking about sex something quite uncomfortable for me or even those hammered in good manners that make me apologise to people who walk straight into me. It’s the fact that even without the orgasm I like sex. I like the feeling of someone else losing control over me. And if my apparent loss of control is going to speed that up, make their experience more exciting.. then why the hell not?
Deep down I don’t see a problem with this. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I should have been listening to those feminists and not pandering to the male ego. But now Fay Weldon has backed me up I feel a huge sense of release (no pun intended). I can get on with enjoying sex, put on my performance and relax. The quickest route to not having to fake if the women’s mags are right.
Meanwhile I leave you with the Observer’s collection of feminist quotes to think about.
‘In a patriarchal society all heterosexual intercourse is rape because women, as a group, are not strong enough to give meaningful consent’ Catherine MacKinnon, author.
‘People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute’ Rebecca West.
‘When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression’ Sheila Jeffries
‘A good part – and definitely the most fun part – of being a feminist is about frightening men’ Julie Burchill.
And you can find the article here http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,1863834,00.html
Again with the ‘Yikes’.
*I’m supposed to be doing exams in a week. I’m still not sure why. Something to do with the mediocrity of that career I would imagine.
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